May 12, 2009
Hold them tighter tonight
Right before I read about Kayleigh being taken home to god today, I was frustrated, mad, aggravated, and tired. I had 2 crying kids, that all morning long would not stop unless I would hold them and do nothing but that. I had toys all over the floor, I had breakfast and lunch dishes in the sink, I had damp clothes in the dryer, another load in the washer and I had a major headache coming on. Laying the kids down for a nap and having quiet time was all I could focus on. The second I laid them down, I felt a stress lift from me.
But then, my heart stopped and I started praying for the Freeman family and all I could think about was maybe for that one minute I could have stopped yelling or trying to clean the house and just sit and hugs my kids a little more. These parents will never again have their sweet baby wake up from her nap and have a re due afternoon. When the house is clean and nothing is calling to be done. They will never be able to hold their baby again.
Over the years I have read many stories about children being called to god early and I cry. I cry because how could any parent find the strength to move on or continue breathing after the loss of their child. I can't even write this without tears pouring down my cheeks to the point where I can't see anymore. I remember one day at my old work, that a pregnant woman lost her 4 year old daughter and her husband just months before her baby was born. I was also pregnant with a 4 year old daughter and a soon to be husband. Our stories were all too similar and it scared me that any of our lives could change in an instant.
I pray for this family, to have the strength and courage to heal and to keep breathing day to day, and know that god only deals us what we can handle and what will make us stronger.