It all happend so fast

Its amazingly scary how fast your life can be turned upside down. One minute you are completely happy and your family is doing great and the next minute your not sure if you are gonna have a house to live in next month. We didn't have much in savings and what we do have will be used in the next 2 weeks to pay the bills for the month of December. After that, I'm not sure whats gonna happen. Chris is out looking for a job everyday, all day. A few applications here and a few no we are NOT hiring there. Not much luck lately. Its only been 2 days but all the stress and worry makes it seem longer.

How do you look in the eyes of your children and tell them that we may lose our house. As I write this, the tears are flowing so hard, I can barely see the monitor. My eyes are puffy from constant crying. I can't even hide it anymore. Hannah is scared, and I lie as best as I can to tell her things will be okay. I just don't get it. We are good people. We had it all mapped out for so long. We budgeted and planned. The kids have never been happier with me home. How can it be over so quickly. We were doing good, better than good, great. In one day things have went from great to desperate.

We have a few things in layaway for the kids for Christmas, It won't be the best, but it will be something. Hopefully this will be a faded memory in their minds when they think back to Christmas as a child.

With the auto companies failing and us living in Michigan I guess we should have accepted the fact that this could happen. I think we relied on Chris being the "repo" man a little to much. He was busy, just his company was bad. Right now there feels like no hope. I like my house, I don't want to lose it. We have worked so hard to get where we are and to lose it, well I don't, well I can;t think about it right now. I'm driving myself crazy with trying to figure out the future.

A hard decision was made this morning, and I'm pretty sure the internet is going to be the first to go. Hopefully I will be able to check in with you and IF things work out, it will be the first to come back. You all have been great friends and it hurts to know that we can't email anymore. But if you are lonely, don't forget about me, I will try to check my email often. There are ways you know. Anyways the internets not off yet, so......Just remember its been real and theres nothing wrong with snail mail...Support your local mail man, send me a letter.

Farewell, for this is not good bye

*I will try to blog a couple more times before the internet is off. So check back often.*