Portraits of an Economy

Some of you know this already, but please read on. Thank you.

Hi, my name is Tasha and here is my story....

I worked for a health insurance company in Detroit Michigan, but I always dreamed of being home with my children We already had 2 girls and I was finally pregnant with #3 our boy. We had decided early on in that pregnancy that I would finally be able to stop working and stay home with the kids, having 3 kids in daycare, plus my commute would not benefit us with me working any longer. 3 months into my maternity leave, October 2008 to be exact I resigned from my job. Even with giving up our extra income, our medical and dental benefits and a nice cushy desk job, it felt good. In our eye it was worth everything we just lost for me to be home. On December 3rd, 2008, my husband calls home. "I was just fired" he said. I yelled at him for the lame joke he was playing, but the silence on the other side said a lot more. This was not a joke. 2 months ago, we had 2 incomes, then one and today we have none. Next to nothing in savings, 3 children, 2 of them in diapers, and we now have no money living in Michigan, who just happens to have a 10% unemployment rate, the highest in the nation.


Want more? And you know you do, Check out this great site. Portraits of an Economy. Read whats really going on these days.

its getting better

Things around her are less stressful, now that we know some money will be coming in soon. We still have to play catch up for a couple of months but we are hopeful. Some sacrifices have been made, like losing the computer, phone and car during the day...But these are for a limited time.. Chris wants to try and fix our desk to with our tax money, and once he gets to bring his work truck home I will have the family car back and once the computer gets fixed I will have the phone again. For now me and the kids have been hanging out and relaxing. Not having to worry about the phone ringing, or blogging or even having to run to the store is nice. Being in a more simpler time during the day, has be in a more happier mood.

On another note, Ben is sitting up now. He started Sunday and has been doing it longer and longer each time. He also started crawling backwards. Well its more of an army crawl backwards, but its super adorable.

I would like to tell you that.

A couple of months ago, we planned to go to some friends house for the superbowl, and have a party. They live about an hour and a half away and have some land in the back for the kids to play in the snow. There was activities planned for the kids and lots of food. There was gonna be at least 7 adults and 9 kids plus lots more. We were supposed to leave this morning with 2 other car full s of people and spend the day having fun and then stay the night.

I would like to tell you we did leave this morning and traveled all that way for a fun filled day, and I would like to tell you we had a blast at the party, and I would like to tell you the kids had a blast too.

But I can't.

Instead I can tell you we had a boring day of lounging around in our pjs, and watched tv. I can also tell you we had burgers and fries for dinner. Why didn't we go have fun, you ask?

Well at about 8:30 tonight (Sunday) Chris will walk out our front door and drive to his new job. THATS RIGHT! We have employment. Funny story is he actually got offered 2 jobs on the same day. He got offered a full time midnight position in a warehouse, and a repo job..He has to go Monday morning to talk about the repo job and as long as he gets hired full time, hes gonna take that one over the other. We are so excited. It was worth missing out on the fun filled day we had planned. I just need to make it up to the kids after months of talking it up..That part won't be hard though. What will be hard is not spending the first paycheck all in one day, because I almost forgot what it felt like to actually be able to spend freely..Just kidding bills need to be caught up first, and then the shopping spree.

I hope you all had a great weekend, I know we did!

baby is cold outside

With Chris being off of work and us having very little money coming in, I have been really trying to watch everything we spend and see where we can save. When the kids leave their room, I am constantly trying to remind them to turn off the lights or the TV. I have been taking trips to the store only when needed, and trying to wash clothes only as needed. But when I walked in on Alanna like this the other day, I wondered if I was taking things to far??

Therapy

I am still here, just been a little crazy. The visit with my mom was great. It was loud, hectic, and crazy, but I wouldn't have had it any other way. I love having the family over and all together. My poor mom and stepdad left 80 degree weather for a massive snow storm of about 7 inches of snow...good thing they love us, huh!

Ben hasn't been feeling well. I think its his teeth. The baby who never cries has been crying. Ben is a very good napper and the last couple of days, not so much right now. Hopefully one of those little buggers will poke through and let my baby be for a little while. Even with his crankiness, he was loved my his grandma and papa all weekend.

Last night Chris was doing somethings on the computer and went to go plug something into the USB slot, and he shocked the computer. Now the computer doesn't work. We are using the lap top. The same lap top we just decided to sell for some money and now we can't.

Things are getting rougher around here with no money. I'm supposed to be trying to make payment plans with our bill companies, but how can I make a payment pan when we have no money. Chris has been everywhere. He has even went to temp agencies. We are still waiting on them to call. He has a few leads today, but I'm still not positive. I sort of stopped that a couple of weeks ago. Its hard, when you know you need things or to pay a bill. The only thing I have right now is hope that something will come along before we lose our house.

Well I think I caught you up on most of whats been going on...Until later.

Its getting better

I haven't been in the mood to blog much lately. But I just wanted to let everyone know that Chris has had some leads for some jobs. Meaning that friends know people and are trying really hard to help out.

I wanted to say thank you to all of you who have commented and prayed for us. Oh and those of you who have offered way more than I could have ever imagined....I think you know who you are. Its always great to have friends but in hard times its even better..I just hope one day I can repay all the kindness we have received.

For now we are okay, and my spirit is getting better. I needed those days to be a wreck and slowly I am returning to myself. I can even laugh now..LOL. Who wouldn't be able to laugh with kids like these?

reality

I'm a wreck, an emotional wreck. I walk past people and I wonder if they are going through the same thing we are going through. Thursday night Hannah had her holiday Christmas concert (I forgot my camera, another added stress), and instead of paying attention like I should have been, I was driving myself crazy with wondering and thinking who in this room who gonna lose their house soon? Who in this room has just lost their job? If I stop myself from thinking about it, I just start to focus on other things, like diapers and gas for the car.

I went off on the picture man today. Family member volunteered to pay for the kids to get their Christmas pictures taken. Nothing special just one picture and we would be good. I had a coupon for $4.99 package and told the man this. He proceeded with the pictures only after Ben pucked all over himself and I bribed Alanna to smile, which she never did by the way. As we were sitting down to choose the pictures, he told me the smallest package was $79.99. I told him I only wanted what the coupon had to offer and he smiled, chuckled at me as if I was silly and said that the coupon didn't apply to us because we chose a Christmas background.
I couldn't even blink the tears away fast enough before they started to pour down my cheek. I raised my voice a little to loud and started sounding off my opinions on him and his picture studio. I bundled the kids up and walked out without buying anything. Once I got to the car I realized I still have no Christmas pictures and called another studio. We now have another appointment at another studio who will honor another coupon I have for them.

I need to get control of myself, but its just so hard. I want to shout at everyone that my husband just got fired and now we have nothing. I want everyone to know how one minute my life was together and now I'm lucky if I can pull it together to get dressed. Because I seriously considered going to the picture place in a sweatshirt and pajama pants. Whats the point of putting clean clothes on anyway when in a little while we may not have any water to wash them in?

I'm ashamed to say that we were approved for food assistance as "they" call it. I know I shouldn't be, but we now fall in a category that I never wanted to be labeled in. Last week I went grocery shopping with my own money and this week, I had to rely on the state to buy my family food. I'm not happy.

Chris is trying. He is out everyday looking for a job, but then there is gas money to worry about and when places do give him an application, they aren't exactly hiring, they just feel sorry for him and tell him they will keep it on file. I have to try to remember that its only been 4 days, I guess I'm still hoping for that Christmas miracle to come before Christmas.

**I added some really cute pics to flickr...check it out**

It all happend so fast

Its amazingly scary how fast your life can be turned upside down. One minute you are completely happy and your family is doing great and the next minute your not sure if you are gonna have a house to live in next month. We didn't have much in savings and what we do have will be used in the next 2 weeks to pay the bills for the month of December. After that, I'm not sure whats gonna happen. Chris is out looking for a job everyday, all day. A few applications here and a few no we are NOT hiring there. Not much luck lately. Its only been 2 days but all the stress and worry makes it seem longer.

How do you look in the eyes of your children and tell them that we may lose our house. As I write this, the tears are flowing so hard, I can barely see the monitor. My eyes are puffy from constant crying. I can't even hide it anymore. Hannah is scared, and I lie as best as I can to tell her things will be okay. I just don't get it. We are good people. We had it all mapped out for so long. We budgeted and planned. The kids have never been happier with me home. How can it be over so quickly. We were doing good, better than good, great. In one day things have went from great to desperate.

We have a few things in layaway for the kids for Christmas, It won't be the best, but it will be something. Hopefully this will be a faded memory in their minds when they think back to Christmas as a child.

With the auto companies failing and us living in Michigan I guess we should have accepted the fact that this could happen. I think we relied on Chris being the "repo" man a little to much. He was busy, just his company was bad. Right now there feels like no hope. I like my house, I don't want to lose it. We have worked so hard to get where we are and to lose it, well I don't, well I can;t think about it right now. I'm driving myself crazy with trying to figure out the future.

A hard decision was made this morning, and I'm pretty sure the internet is going to be the first to go. Hopefully I will be able to check in with you and IF things work out, it will be the first to come back. You all have been great friends and it hurts to know that we can't email anymore. But if you are lonely, don't forget about me, I will try to check my email often. There are ways you know. Anyways the internets not off yet, so......Just remember its been real and theres nothing wrong with snail mail...Support your local mail man, send me a letter.

Farewell, for this is not good bye

*I will try to blog a couple more times before the internet is off. So check back often.*