I have never really talked about any arguements or spats Chris and I have had, but this one is weighing on my mind a lot..Last Saturday morning the girls were up and wanted breakfast. Hannah wanted cereal, which is fine, but Alanna wanted a pudding. I didn't see anything wrong with her having it..she doesn't have it everyday and why not its filled with calcium. However Chris did not see it that way. He said the pudding was not breakfast food and did not want her to have it. We began to argue because he said I wasn't listening to him and I said that I was but he wasn't hearing me. In the end she ended up with the pudding because Chris stormed off and went back to bed. He was very mad at me for giving her the pudding and had that blah attitude for the rest of the day.
I never had to co parent with Hannah and what I said would just go, Chris and I have had some upsets with raising Alanna over minor things, but nothing has constitued to a fight like this did. My question is to all the parents or even non parents. How have or would you handle a situation? You say yes, your other says no, you say black and they say white. Got any advice or stories you would like to share? Please do it would help a lot.
Oh girl, I feel your pain! HOWEVER, I took YOUR side on the last post, but I'm gonna have to take Chris' side on this one. (Don't hate me!) My husband has often said no (or yes) to things I disagree with and I won't even pretend like we didn't fight about it, but I've learned that if he has already spoken and given an answer then I cannot undermine his authority in front of the child. By all means, I always lay into him later but you can't let your child see you two divided. Trust me, they are learning today what will work in their teenage years! Seriously, you've got to show them today that you are a united front.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, I have to also say: I agree with you. There's nothing wrong with eating pudding for breakfast once in a while. It's better than having her pick at her food or not eating at all.
First off, I think it was the weekend and it's not an everyday thing, so what's the big deal. I agree with you on that one.
ReplyDeleteBut, I also agree with Tee that you have to have a united front. Argue about it behind closed doors where the kids aren't learning they can pit you against each other sometimes. In this situation that would hard b/c on one hand, you want to say it's just pudding...but you gotta back each other up. There may be something later on that doesn't seem like a big deal to him but is to you and you would want his support.
That's my 2 cents - which is easy to give b/c I don't have kids! ha!