One good thing about your husband working midnights. When you can't sleep at 2 am, you have someone to text.

Happy Anniversary

On this date 1 year ago, I was shaking and reminding myself to breathe. I was looking into his eyes and thinking to myself how did I got so lucky? Here he is and he loves me and my daughter and we now share another beautiful little girl together. I was holding his hands feeling him tremble and it dawned on me that no matter what the future held for us, we would be in it together and I no longer had to worry or fear what the future may bring. He was there, in this moment sharing the fears, and excitement along with me. Then we said I do and finalized our love in front of all our friends and family and made it offical, I became his wife and he became my husband and we joined our family in the eyes of God.

This is the song Chris and I danced to on our wedding night. We both feel that this describes us perfectly. Neither of us claims to be perfect, but we work off each other and when one is having a bad day the other is there.

You Save me, Kenny Chesney

Every now and then I get a little lost

The strings all get tangled

The wires all get crossed

Every now and then I’m right upon the edge

Danglin’ my toes out over the ledge

I just thank God you’re here

(Chorus)-['Cause] when I’m a bullet shot out of a gun

['Cause] when I’m a firecracker comin’ undone
When I’m a fugitive ready to run

All wild-eyed and crazy

No matter where my reckless soul takes me

Baby you save me

It’s hard lovin’ a man

That’s got a gypsy soul

I don’t know how you do it
I’m not sure how you know

The perfect thing to say

To save me from myself

You’re the angel that believes in me

Like nobody else

And I thank God you do

(Chorus)

Well I know I don’t tell you nearly enough

I couldn’t live one day without your love
When I’m a ship tossed around on the waves
Up on a high wire that’s ready to break

When I’ve had just about all I can take

Baby, you,Baby you save me

Chris, I love you, Happy Anniversary

(click for more of the pre/wedding pictures)

How I love thee, let me count the ways

Today I would like to spot light my husband.

Hehe, I still love saying the word husband.

~Now before I get started let me start by saying just because your husband is the knight in shining armor and he may make theses points look like nothing, I am very happy with my husband and he makes me smile everyday.~

Chris has really stepped up'd to the husband plate the last couple of days. here are a few examples of why I am falling in love all over again.

• Chris surprised me at work on valentines day with a teddy bear, balloon, candy and even a card...awwww how sweet.
• He is way more involved with this pregnancy. Alanna was his 1st and even though he was excited, Chris and I were not in the best place in our relationship and it was rocky for a while. This time around we are a happily married couple and really enjoying our family.
• Saturday night I lost my phone in Chris' brothers car. His brother lives about an hour and a half away..Chris drove all the way out there to get my phone with NO complaints.
• Friday my car started to overheat on the way home from work. A family friend came to look at it Sunday, all the auto parts stores were closed..I was advised NOT to drive my car..(the thermostat was shot), Chris drove me way out of his way to take me to work and then went to work himself...NO complaints...he also picked me up way earlier than he would have gotten off of work himself, again no complaint
• The same family friend fixed my car Monday night however he was late coming over..Chris started to go online to see how to become Mr mechanic fix it in about 5 minutes, when said family friend showed up and saved the day.

These are just some of the things, my hubby has done, to make my days seem brighter. I am not a needy woman, the smallest things in life make me happy. Thanks honey, I Love You.

What would you do?

I have never really talked about any arguements or spats Chris and I have had, but this one is weighing on my mind a lot..Last Saturday morning the girls were up and wanted breakfast. Hannah wanted cereal, which is fine, but Alanna wanted a pudding. I didn't see anything wrong with her having it..she doesn't have it everyday and why not its filled with calcium. However Chris did not see it that way. He said the pudding was not breakfast food and did not want her to have it. We began to argue because he said I wasn't listening to him and I said that I was but he wasn't hearing me. In the end she ended up with the pudding because Chris stormed off and went back to bed. He was very mad at me for giving her the pudding and had that blah attitude for the rest of the day.

I never had to co parent with Hannah and what I said would just go, Chris and I have had some upsets with raising Alanna over minor things, but nothing has constitued to a fight like this did. My question is to all the parents or even non parents. How have or would you handle a situation? You say yes, your other says no, you say black and they say white. Got any advice or stories you would like to share? Please do it would help a lot.

going to the chapel

A really good friend of mine is getting married soon, in like 3 months. You may know her. Shes starting to get a little nervous, and the other morning it really hit her shes getting married. SHES gonna be someones wife :) I tried telling her to calm down but today's post has her eating, breathing and even exercising wedding..LOL. Shes afraid everyone will get tried of hearing about wedding stuff, like I am afraid of you getting tired of hearing about baby stuff...Stop by and let her know shes not alone in fantasising about wedding stuff, because every woman dreams about her wedding and being the princess we all know we are. Hmmm, I think someone we know just got married a couple of months ago....LOL. Her posts are stating to look like my posts did a year ago. LOL. Anyways shes a great person and I love her blog and I could never get tired of talking wedding...I could still do it all day long. So Lindz, if you need any tips, or ideas, throw them my way!

random

Here is the picture of me and the girls at the Princess party at the library last Saturday. The little girl on thr left is Jade, she is my brothers girlfriends little sister..

A few random things that have crossed my mind this week, and I thought I would mention them:

-I have had both my heat and my air on this week

-My mom got fired from her job, that she moved out of state for, for smoking a ciggerette in her car outside of the propery, when she told them she was a smoker (I have no clue?)

-Less than a week for my nephew to be here and less than 10 weeks for my neice, which would put Alanna's 2nd BDay in less than 10 weeks...OMG

-Chris and I have been married almost 5 months, holy cow, I feel old...just kidding

-Alanna is becoming a "real" person. We had our 1st "real" conversation today.

-Today we had a meeting at work about our 401K. WOW, I really had no clue..

-There are a million stupid people in the world for every 1 smart person.

Example: At my job people call me to get health benefits. This particular call has happened several times, different people.

Caller: Can you tell me if marriage counseling is covered?

Me: Marriage Counseling is not a covered benefit, however we do cover individual services.

Caller: Are you sure, because we really need the counseling for marriage?

Me: (getting frusterated already) Yes, I am sure, but I will check one more time.

Me: I'm sorry its still not a covered benefit for any member, would you be interested in indv services?

Caller: (screaming) So you just want us to get a divorce and then pay for mental health services when I am depressed and need medication to survive.

Me: ?????

-I lost 18 pounds people, I have never lost 18 pounds before. Watch out here comes a skinny minnie, sorry I am just super excited!

-I have a web cam, so if anyone else does and you wanna talk, I'm on AIM. Just email me and I will tell you my screen name...We could be face to face.

Thats all for now...

I didn't know it was this hard

I was a single mom with Hannah for 3 1/2 years before Chris and I got together. I had to learn to take both the mom and dad roles. I had to learn how to take control of mine and hers life and make all the decisions. The roles never changed much when Chris and I got together because I was never sure if things were gonna work out with us just dating.
Then I got pregnant with Alanna and and all of a sudden some of my parenting responsibilities were being shared with another person. It was a new concept and it was hard to adjust and still is at times.
When Chris asked me to marry him, I started on trying to let some control go because this man was going to be my husband now. Its a strange feeling releasing the control that you have had for 5 years and allowing someone else to share it with you. I don't know why I thought marriage wold be such an easy transition. Here's what I mean.
Chris and I meet in 2002 from friends, he was with another girl and so I never gave another thought of us being together. About a year later Chris and I met again and this time he was single and so was I. Over time Chris and I started to talk more between just us and didn't need our friends to be there. We started dating and a couple months later Chris moved in with Hannah and me. It was kinda fast, but we really cared for each other, and it felt right. I still had the control over the house because it was "my" house. Chris always said it never felt like his house because he just moved in. Chris and I have lived together since January 2004. We bought a new house together last August, and I thought marriage would be an easy thing to adjust to, but I'm soon finding out that it is not.
Its different. He is no longer mt boyfriend, he is my husband and I am his wife. With that title comes a whole new load of responsibility. I'm having a hard time adjusting to being married. Allowing him to make some decisions that will impact us as a family, and sometimes I am scared if I let him make a choice, it may be the wrong one and I will blame him, versus me making a bad choice and only having myself to blame. Did anyone else have this problem? Is there something wrong with our marriage? I love Chris, but I find it hard sometimes to agree with his decisions and wondering if I made a mistake in letting go of my control of the situation. Its only been 2 months since the wedding, are we going to make to 20 years? Longer?

another reason I love being a mom

I love my husband.I love my husband.I love my husband. Those were the words I kept repeating in my head yesterday when I walked in the door after working 9 hours.

Chris was home with the girls ALL day yesterday. Hannah ate something that didn't agree with her on Sunday so she did not go to school Monday...and of course Alanna was just there.



Now Chris us very capable of taking care of the girls, I never worry about them when I am gone....I mean he is the dad...However our parenting styles differ slightly. Chris thinks its okay to stay in our PJs all day. (which is fine sometimes), Chris thinks its okay not to brush the girls hair because at the end of the day its messy again (not so sure about that), and Chris thinks its okay to leave dishes and food out on the counter because in a couple of hours we will be eating again (DISAGREE)!
I pull up to the house and see Hannah still in her PJs playing outside, her hair is not brushed and she ate cereal for dinner. I walk into the house and Alanna is still in her PJs, hair hanging in her face and she ate grapes for dinner. I walk a little further and see Chris laying on the couch...you guessed it, still in his PJs. Now to give him some credit he did get a massive headache so he was a little out of it. The toys, oh my the TOYS were everywhere. The dishes on the counter, the couch cushions were on the floor, did I mention the toys? I did have to remind myself that I love my husband, but looking at how happy the girls were that I was home, made it all worth the cleaning up.

Reason 8,792

that I love my new husband.

I found out what my mothers day gift was supposed to be. Last Saturday we were at the mall and we walked past a sprint store and I randomly said that I wanted a pink video phone. Well he was trying to get me one...Who knew that pink and video did not go together because sprint does not offer it. They got pink, they got video, but they do not have a pink video phone.
He checked sprint, online, even ebay and nothing. So he told me this morning that I could get a new phone whether it be pink or video is up to me. I want a video phone. The color is no big deal, but the functions are what interests me. So I get to look for a phone that I want and Chris will buy it for me. Well buy it for me is not entirely correct. Its our money now,but for him to spend it is so much better than me spending it, don't ya think? I went looking online today and the phone that I found is the Phone Fusic by LG its white and it has exchangable face plates. Its $279.99, thats a little much for a mothers day gift or for me to spend on a phone. So that leads me to ask...What type of phone do you have and why did you choose it? And do you know a place to awesome phones for cheap?

weekend round up

I am alive! I have so much to talk about. 1st my party was awesome. I had so much fun. We did have some problems with people backing out and I had to put in some more money than expected, but it was all worth it. The limo people gave us some problems too, but they made up for it with a free upgrade to a stretch hummer. We were riding in style. No pictures of the out side because it was dark, but pleanty of pictures to come soon. The night started out with a Pure Romance party, and then the hummer picked us up around 10. We went to 3 different bars and then had our own party in the hummer between places. everyone had a great time. Pictures to come soon...Check back for it, you won't be disapointed.

2nd on the list to talk about is Alanna is sick...Poor baby. She has had a fever for 2 days now and its been at 101.5. My mom and stepdad took her and Hannah to a hotel to swim on Saturday and they had a blast. Sunday Alanna woke up not feeling to well. When she came home she was burning up and I took her temp. Chris and I decided to take her to an urgent care center and she has an ear infection, and her throat is really red.which means it probably hurts her really bad. The dr gave us some medicine and told us to alternate between infants motrin and infant tylenol. She woke up this morning with a fever still so day 2 begins of operation sick baby. I feel like a bad momma because I am at work, but I have called and checked on her 100 times (no joke) and she is doing okay. Chris will be up this afternoon to take over so she will only be with our AWESOME babysitter for half the day. Yes our babysitter/nany is the best. When she came over this morning Alanna just laid in her arms. I do feel happy to have her and that is one of the reasons I went to work...the others being a big event at the end of this month that may or may not be taking all my sick days and money...Again I do feel confident in out nanny and I know she will and does take good care of the girls.

3rd on my list to talk about...HELLO its April 2. YES April 2, that means the wedding is in 26 days....all together now SCREAM...AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Tell me how you really feel

Remember when I wrote about the new button in my side bar? The one where you can click on it and leave me a message for my upcoming wedding. Well I am reminding you that you can still leave me a message. Remember it can be a peom, a joke, or even some assvice will be taken to heart. Then on my wedding day, I will be able to open up the messages and see what everyone has left me.

PS I'm gonna be an Aunt...My brother and his girlfriend just announced a baby will be here on November 11th...YAY me, oh and them too! Congrats guys.

wedding shower, II

Let me tell you all about the great people I work with. Today they threw me a surprise wedding shower. There was yellow and white plates, streamers and decorations. there was even a cupcake cake that they ordered from my brother's bakery. (they are all in love with his cakes). I was really surprised. I had no idea. I still have no clue how they pulled it off without me knowing. Usually I can get an idea that something is in the planning, but not this time. We had our normal monthly potluck today. It was called "Spring Bling Salad Thing". I was preoccupied with bringing what I was supposed to bring that I had no clue planning was going on behind the scenes. My supervisor asked me to meet with her today to go over some record keeping for a meeting we were supposed to have today. After we met we headed to the meeting. I walke din the door and my entire team yelled surprise. I was shocked. I started to cry. Now if you know me, you know I cry at everything, and this was no exception. Then they made me do a speech and the tears fell. Happy ones of course. Some pictures were taken so if I get my hands on them I will post them too. but aren't my people great!!!

But God, you are still invited....of course.

Chris and I fired our preacher. Well not the preacher we would see every Sunday if we went to Church, but the preacher who we hired to marry us. So not only did he want us to read books that were written in the 1970's he also wanted us to take tests and quizzes about our personality and temperament, one test was 180 questions and the other 150. Chris had, had it. He said either I fire him nicely or he would do it not so nice. (have I mentioned the preacher was my dads cousins husband?) So I decided to do it nicely. But in return I did not get a nice ending to our conversation...Well I guess not all gods peoples can be nice... I feel less stressed. I did enjoy the counseling, but the one book talked about in order to please your husband and make him happy a wife should always be happy and look her best...ummmm, I like to look nice for Chris but I felt the book was for the Brady bunch and not us. Anyways, since it was done Chris said he is happier, because everything was stressing him out. I understand where he was coming from...he barely has enough time for us let alone reading and test taking. If Chris and I don't know each other by now, then what are we doing getting married? I think that with our without the tests, we will make a happy married couple.

Once again I am a day late. But like they say better late than never. On fridays CHBM has a Photo Friday, and I always forget until Saturday morning. The theme this week is once in a life time...and after planning my wedding and its only 6 weeks away(as of today) I will say the whole wedding expierence is a once in a life time thing...Here is the picture of the Cake Chris used to purpose...

The war at home

I've had a post swirling around in my head for a couple of days now. I've been having trouble organizing thoughts lately. I'm in a rut and feeling blue. I have trouble letting all of my feelings out online. I'm not at the point were I feel totally comfortable letting everyone into my personal life yet. Yes I say a lot, but theres plenty thats not said. I read other blogs and people make their life seem so great. Like nothing goes wrong and things are perfect. It makes my life feel wrong becasue things aren't perfect. I wonder if people hold back like I do. I don't tell you all when Chris and I fight, and yes we do fight. Not all the time but on occasion when we do, its big. We are in one now. We started to come out of it tonight. When Chris and I fight we hold things inside until one of us explodes and then everything comes out at once...we blame each other for things that make us unhappy. Lately Chris has had a bad attitude and today he finally let it out about the things that have been bothering him. Well when he has the bad attitude it makes me upset and then I let it all out about him....whats been making him upset???..me. We need to learn to sit and talk about things instead of blaming each other. We are going to be starting pre marital counseling soon. Its a requirement that our officiant is having us do. Hes actually my dads cousin...Hes a pastor. Chris and I don't attend church therefore we don't have a religion. My dads cousin said he would marry us if we attended one on one sessions with him before the wedding. At first I was avoiding them, but the more I think about it the more I think they may help. Chris and I are young and haven't had the expirence with many relationships and obviously we lack the key to making them work since we both found each other. Thinking back....Chris and I have come through a lot. I am the type of person that wants to argue, talk it out and then make up. Chris likes to say what he has to say and then walk away from the situation. This is very hard for me because I feel sometimes like he doesn't want to talk. But he sees it as calming down and thinking about whats going on. Are these things that normal couples go through? Am I over thinking this because the wedding is 4 months away? Or really does everyone out there have perfect relationships. I didn't think that I would be so vervous about the wedding. I come from a broken home. Both parents have been married 3 times. I want my marriage to work and be the only one. I am scared that sometime down the road Chris and I will not make it and get a divorce. I know I shouldn't think about this before the wedding, but these thoughts have been creeping up in my mind. Please help me...is this normal freak out mode, or is there something else that I need help with.