now what?

What a weekend. Thanksgiving was great, we spent it with family. Friday we lounged around the house not doing much. Saturday and Sunday we did a little shopping, and today I think Chris got laid off.
Not quite sure whats going on yet, but it doesn't look good. His company just sent someone to pick up his work truck and said they would be in touch. What the hell is that supposed to mean, I have no idea. But 3 weeks before Christmas, he may be laid off...permanently. Updates to come. I promise. I just need some time to cope.

on time or late?

Have you ever had an appointment and completely forgot about it? I am the type of person who is ALWAYS early. never late and remembers everything.

This morning Chris and I had an important meeting, and I forgot completely about it, until an hour after we were supposed to be there. I called and apologized about a million times, trying to explain I am not that kind of person. I feel horrible. We got to reschedule, but I still feel guilty. An entire hour slot just for us and we missed it. Now for the rest of the day I will have THAT feeling. Just that empty feeling in my stomach...Ugh, I hate being that person. How do you feel about lateness, or being on time?

playing catch up

Well I feel like a big blog loser...I got 1 comment for the books...Okay Lori you get it..Just for being great I will send you 2 books for your kids...And Lindsey, for being an awesome teacher, I know you would love 2 books too, so I will send that. Lori please email me your address..I forgot and threw away the envelope with it on there. Thanks. I still have 1 book if anyone is interested..Just let me know.


On to other news...I am so freaking tired. Someone please tell me when a child will sleep 12 hours? I guess I don't have much grounds to complain...Ben sleeps 8 hours and wakes up around 4Am to eat and falls back asleep for another 4 hours, but the wake up in the middle of the night is so harsh. And now with school back in I am up at 6:30 with Hannah, Alanna is up at 7 and Ben at 8..The day begins and I don't get a second to sit down until nap at 1:00.
Here is a look into a Day in the life of Tasha.

6:30 wake up
7:00 Alanna wakes up
7:15 Hannah leaves for school
7:30 breakfast for Alanna and a pumping session
8:00 Ben is up
8:15 feed Ben
9:00 Get Ben dressed and ready for the day
9:30 Ben is sleeping, Get Alanna dressed and ready
10:00 maybe a shower
11:00 Ben is up, we all play or sit and watch Alanna play, hehe
12:00 Alanna lunch, feed Ben
12:00 pump
1:00 Alanna nap, Ben maybe naps
3:00 Alanna up, we play
4:00 Feed Ben
4:20 Hannah is home
4:30 start dinner, get homework done
5:00-5:30 dinner, clean up
6:00 feed Ben, pump
7:00 Alanna bath
7:30 Ben bath
8:00 Hannah bath, feed Ben AGAIN
8:30 Alanna bed
9:00 Hannah bed
9:15 Maybe Ben is in bed by now
9:30 clean up house, pump
10:00 Bed
4AM Feed Ben
6:30 start all over AGAIN

And this is if we have nothing planned for the day. There is sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, dusting, laundry, cleaning toys, appointments, and play dates. Geez I was less busy when I worked all week. But ya know? I would not trade this time with the kids for nothing. I really do enjoy being home with them...This time I have spent with them has been the happiest times. Really makes me feel bad that I complain about being tired.

Potty training is going great. Alanna has been going on the potty and hardly any accidents to mention. I am so proud of her..Now if I can just get her to stop putting the entire roll of toilet paper in the toilet and flushing 8 times and over flowing the toilet all over the bathroom floor I would be even happier. (yup it happens about once a day). She seems to do it when I am feeding Ben or pumping. Of course she is a smart girl because she knows I can;t get up easy when doing either of these tasks.

We're home!

We are home...We've actually been home since 10:30 this morning, but we were so tired, we all took a nap. The morning started at 5:30 for me, and still going. Alanna's surgery went really well. She cried coming out of the anesthesia, but other than that she is back to her happy, normal self. The doctor said he sucked out some nasty stuff. Her ears were red and inflamed which meant she was well on her way to another ear infection. Hopefully getting all that gunk out, she will be okay through the winter and no more ear aches for my baby girl. The doctor also said he is very confident that Alanna will bounce back and be talking in no time. We have to go for a follow up in 1-2 weeks and get a hearing test then...Hopefully everything will be back to normal real soon for her.

In other news, Alanna used the potty again tonight. This time all on her own. I was just sitting down to write this post and she ran in the bathroom and took off her diaper. A little playing on the toilet with ups and downs. I was just about ready to tell her enough playing, and she went...We are all so proud. Maybe Santa will bring some big girl panties in her stocking.....hehehe, or should I say ho ho ho.

This weekend we will probably just lay back and relax...Still no word on the strike. We have been holding off on Christmas presents for everyone until we know something..Luckily the girls are done. 1 more week and we should know. I swear if its not one thing its another.

never stopping for a mintue

I thought for a moment that once Novemeber was over I would have a free second. Boy was I wrong. with the holidays, work and the kids, things are more hectic than ever. Just like october and Novemeber, the month of December has no down time. There is something planned for every weekend coming up.

Alanna's surgery for her tubes is scheduled for friday December 7. I just got the call from the nurse and the time is set for 7:15 am. She really calmed my nerves down a lot by explaining all the details. But boy do they ask a lot of questions. Hannah doesn't want to go to school that day. She said she would like to be there to support her little sister. That just ,elted my heart, so I think I might be a softly that day and let her skip out just this once. I mean the poor girl hasn't missed 1 day yet, I don't think this one day will hurt. So all of us will be there for Alanna. I'm nervous. But excited to help her.

Work has been absolutley crazy too. I've gotten in so much over time, that will be nice for Christmas, but not so nice lately when I get home at 7:00 and still have to cook dinner. I do want to apologize to my blogger friends, if I haven't commented as much as I should be, I'm just so tired.
I've been hesitant to mention this but I might as well, because its a pretty big thing. I belong to a union..This is our 1st year the contract is up from the 1st sign up and things are not going well. If we don't have an agreement on the contract in about 10 days, a possible strike may take effect. Nioce to have the holidays off, not so nice for thw paycheck..I'm praying it doesn't come to the strike, but who knows right now.

dentist, day 3

Today Hannah and I went to the dentist. Usually when you say the word Dentist, some people will cringe. Not me. I love going to the dentist. Mainly because my mom used to work there for almost 20 years and everyone there is awesome. I for some reason was blessed with great teeth, never having a cavity or needed any work except for braces when I was like 10..When I get my teeth cleaned, the doctor/dentist will come in and praise me and tell me what beautiful teeth I have. He even has went as far as telling me I have model teeth and its a pleasure when I come in, hehe.
Today was no different for me, Its about 10-15 minutes of the hygenist, hygienist, hygen-whatever to look at my teeth and tell me everything was great, then the dentist comes in and says pretty much the same. Then it was time for Hannah. She has also been blessed for the time being with good teeth, except she needs braces, and in my opinion almost the sooner the better. Well today they finally decided to make an appt for Hannah to have an orthodontic consultation. Thats great in my opinion, however now it makes me a little nervous because braces are not covered under my dental insurance, and that A LOT of $$$ out of pocket. I don't think I would let her have braces just quite yet, even though I know she needs them, but she is only 7..maybe in a couple of years..I guess I should use that time to save some money, anyone want to start donations????

If it not one thing its another..

I would like to thank everyone for their advice. It really helped alot. I did chicken out a little about talking to my stepmom because I didn't want to start an argument. So I called my dad and talked to him. He agrees with my brother and I and said he would try to talk to my stepmom this weekend. He said that he actually thought the feud was calming down and then my Aunt went and hired my older sister to work with her and my sister was part of the feud and blah blah blah...thats a whole nother post, LOL. So my dad agreed to tell my stepmom that my brother and I would be very upset with her if she didn't come and that he would stress to her the importance of putting aside the differences for a few hours.
Oh and thanks to everyone who admitted this was their family too...even though you know everyone has drama, its still nice to know you are not alone, hehe.

This weekend Chris and I are taking the girls to the apple orchard, I sure hope we have a good time. Hannah has been having problems lately with her attitude, and mouth and brain. Her brain doesn't seem to be telling her mouth to slow down and think about what she is saying before she says it...Makes her have a really bad attitude when her brain is sleeping on the job LOL....
It seems lately no matter what Chris or I tell her she has something to say about it. I tell her to pick up her toys, she makes an excuse for them being out, I tell her to finish eating, she makes an excuse for eating slow...
Both the girls had a flu shot yesterday and we got out a little late for me to cook dinner. We hadn't eatin fast food in a long time so I thought I would treat the girls. I ordered food for ALL of us, but for some reason Hannah thought I didn't get her anything (why? I have no idea), so when we got home I told her to eat and then start on her homework. She pulled out her homework and was crying..I asked her what was wrong..She actually looked at me and said, "You just want me to starve and do my homework, huh?" I had no idea what she was talking about since I had put her burger and fries right in front of her at the table..I blinked a couple of times and just started at her. I told her that what I had said was to EAT and THEN do her HOMEWORK. She said but you didn't order me any food. I asked her why she thought I had not ordered her any food because when we were at the drive through I asked her what she wanted...She said she didn't know and started crying some more. Sometimes I wonder what is going through this child's head. This situation was not that bad with her attitude, but its always something. Its not always what she says, but how she says it. Is this normal behavior for a 7 year old...If so I am in BIG trouble in about 8 years. HELP!

I didn't know it was this hard

I was a single mom with Hannah for 3 1/2 years before Chris and I got together. I had to learn to take both the mom and dad roles. I had to learn how to take control of mine and hers life and make all the decisions. The roles never changed much when Chris and I got together because I was never sure if things were gonna work out with us just dating.
Then I got pregnant with Alanna and and all of a sudden some of my parenting responsibilities were being shared with another person. It was a new concept and it was hard to adjust and still is at times.
When Chris asked me to marry him, I started on trying to let some control go because this man was going to be my husband now. Its a strange feeling releasing the control that you have had for 5 years and allowing someone else to share it with you. I don't know why I thought marriage wold be such an easy transition. Here's what I mean.
Chris and I meet in 2002 from friends, he was with another girl and so I never gave another thought of us being together. About a year later Chris and I met again and this time he was single and so was I. Over time Chris and I started to talk more between just us and didn't need our friends to be there. We started dating and a couple months later Chris moved in with Hannah and me. It was kinda fast, but we really cared for each other, and it felt right. I still had the control over the house because it was "my" house. Chris always said it never felt like his house because he just moved in. Chris and I have lived together since January 2004. We bought a new house together last August, and I thought marriage would be an easy thing to adjust to, but I'm soon finding out that it is not.
Its different. He is no longer mt boyfriend, he is my husband and I am his wife. With that title comes a whole new load of responsibility. I'm having a hard time adjusting to being married. Allowing him to make some decisions that will impact us as a family, and sometimes I am scared if I let him make a choice, it may be the wrong one and I will blame him, versus me making a bad choice and only having myself to blame. Did anyone else have this problem? Is there something wrong with our marriage? I love Chris, but I find it hard sometimes to agree with his decisions and wondering if I made a mistake in letting go of my control of the situation. Its only been 2 months since the wedding, are we going to make to 20 years? Longer?

any takers?

We are now open to accepting donations for "cool the children"fund.




New air unit estimates $2100-$3900.

another reason I love being a mom

I love my husband.I love my husband.I love my husband. Those were the words I kept repeating in my head yesterday when I walked in the door after working 9 hours.

Chris was home with the girls ALL day yesterday. Hannah ate something that didn't agree with her on Sunday so she did not go to school Monday...and of course Alanna was just there.



Now Chris us very capable of taking care of the girls, I never worry about them when I am gone....I mean he is the dad...However our parenting styles differ slightly. Chris thinks its okay to stay in our PJs all day. (which is fine sometimes), Chris thinks its okay not to brush the girls hair because at the end of the day its messy again (not so sure about that), and Chris thinks its okay to leave dishes and food out on the counter because in a couple of hours we will be eating again (DISAGREE)!
I pull up to the house and see Hannah still in her PJs playing outside, her hair is not brushed and she ate cereal for dinner. I walk into the house and Alanna is still in her PJs, hair hanging in her face and she ate grapes for dinner. I walk a little further and see Chris laying on the couch...you guessed it, still in his PJs. Now to give him some credit he did get a massive headache so he was a little out of it. The toys, oh my the TOYS were everywhere. The dishes on the counter, the couch cushions were on the floor, did I mention the toys? I did have to remind myself that I love my husband, but looking at how happy the girls were that I was home, made it all worth the cleaning up.

Another nanny story

I feel all scattered, all over the place. My life the last couple of months has been so busy and stressful, I don't even know whats going on anymore. With the wedding, Nanny C's 2 week notice, finding a new nanny, being sick, and then having to find another new nanny.

Did you see that? Thats right, a nother new Nanny. This time its not as bad as you would think though. heres the story.

J (a friend of a friend, who I am starting to get to know really well) called about the ad. I hired her becasue I knew her and her family and I really liked her. So she started on Monday when I went back to work. Her oldest son (age 9) missed the bus and came over with her...no big deal. On Tuesday J called me and told me that Alanna was getting sick. I just had gotten to work. Not even logged on the system yet. Turn around and head home. Alanna gets it out of her system, I get it out of my system..then comes Wednesday. Around 10:00J calls and said that her son's school called and he is sick. Call everyone I know to come over, Chris ends up off work early and goes home to Alanna after working all night. I call my stepdad to see if he can be a back up on Thursday. J calls thursday morning at 7 and tells me she has been sick since 4 and cannot come over. Call stepdad and drop Alanna off to him and he says he will come to my germ infested house for Hannah when she gets off the bus.
I called J on Wednesday and asked her how she felt about the week so far. She siad that its been really hard on her because of her kids and my kids and sickness and her son missing the bus and everything else. So we discussed it and we don't want anything ruining our friendship and she has a lot going on with her kids. So we decided that it would be best if she didn't watch the girls anymore after this week and that I should find someone else. This was fine with me since I did interview a girl I really really liked. I called her and asked if she was still interested and she said yes....SO I have a new Nanny K starting on Monday. Still with me? She will come over on Saturday to hang out with us and the girls to get to know them a little so I don't just throw Alanna at her on Monday morning. Hopefully we have all the germs out of the hosue and will have a fresh start with Nanny K. Whew, I'm just tired thinking about it all again. Hopefully things will start to slow down or at least be a little less stressful.

I.AM.SICK! 9 days before my wedding I have a head that feels the size of the Pacific Ocean and the pressure to go along with it. I also have an ear ache (I thought only kids get those, this is my 3rd this year). I am so mad that this has happened. Now I have to try to stay away form the girls so they don't get this because we all know the nightmare that would be. But wait I should be safe because MY girls only get sick on weekdays when I have to work, so I have to use precious vacation days to stay home with them....Maybe.just maybe I am safe for now.

I'm slowly coming to terms with the nanny leaving us. I talked to a friend yesterday, and she told me to calm down and we came to the realization that things happen for a reason and maybe she wasn't the right person after all. Even though Chris, I and the girls all really liked her. So maybe the right person will respond to our ad in the paper that starts tomorrow and we will be happy agian. Dispite the fact that the wedding is in LESS.than.2.weeks (final countdown is 10.days) and all the stress I am dealing with, the notice actually came at the best time. Why you ask? Because, I have time off after the wedding for interviews and to get to know the person. Even though I have no weekends left to fit one more task in, its gonna be okay...I hope.

On to other news. I got word that my sister is coming to the wedding. You may think to yourself, sisters are supposed to be at your wedding. But this is not the usual sister you may think about. This is the black sheep, drug user, can't take care of her self sister. The one where you hope the invite was lost so she doesn't remember what day the wedding is on, so she doesn't show up kind of sister. I''m sure nothing bad will happen, because if there happens to be a scene it will make for a good laugh when the bride is sitting in jail for kicking the shit out of her sister.

Another one bites the dust

I feel like crying. Our nanny gave her 2 week notice today. She has only been with us about 6 weeks. She said she found another job with more money. I can understand, but I am sad. Now I have to go through all the horror of trying to find another nanny. The interviews are still so fresh in my mind and I don't know if I can handle that. Plus now we have to go through trying to get to know another person. Especially for Alanna. She was getting so attached to her. Well another ad goes in the paper today. Wish us luck and sanity.

I think I'm losing it

wedding countdown: 23 days

I know I have been gone a couple of days. I am really stressing about the wedding. Just finalizing the last few details is giving me a headache. I have 3 weeks filled with only 2 weekends to get anything done and that is not enough time. I started tanning yesterday. Please spare the advice about being bad blah harmful blah and something about UV blah. I do not want to be a ghost for my wedding so if I do this for the next 2 weeks I am good to go. I used to tan all the time before Hannah and have not in the past 6 years, I think I can handle 3 weeks. Tanning is actually very relaxing for me...I turn on the music lay down and have 10-20 minutes of FREEDOM.

My final dress fitting is Friday, and the final payment on the reception hall is Saturday. All these final things are making me nervous. What if I forgot something and not even thinking about and it and then on the day of the wedding I will be like OMG, What did I do and why did I not get this _____ (fill in the blank)

Any advice from you married ladies out there. I am so scared that something will go wrong...HELP.

weekend wrap up

Warning this is a long drawn out post....you were warned.
52 days until the wedding


Ok, I am here! This past weekend I was so busy I about lost my head. I will spare you the details and skip to the fun stuff, the shower. it turned out so nice. We recieved many great gifts and only have to take 2 doubles back to the store. Chris and I are so lucky to have friends and family the way we do. My maid of honor Sarah and one of my bridesmaids were in charge of the shower and they did such a great job. The food, decorations and entertainment were fantastic. Sunday night I was exhausted and fell asleep on the couch at 8:30. monday I had the day off of work because my mom, step dad and me had to go check out the wedding ceremoney site. We had to decide how we wanted it set up so we know what we are doing when we go there the night before....it was fun. the final stages of planning are coming along great. Moving onto the wedding invitations. We as in my mom and I thought it would "save" money and "time" to do the invites ourselves. We buy the blank invites and print them...how hard is that? Well the wedding invites have a posterboard outside with a thin paper inside and then a ribbon ties on the binder. we also had to print the response cards. So the outer paper was super thick and would jam the printer and ruined several of the invites. I had to take the rest to Kinkos to have them print off the invites. Whiel I was at Kinkos i was reading over the inserts of the invites and realized that all the reception info was cut off. We had used all the inserts so I had to have Kinkos cut to size new paper and then take it back to my moms house and drill with a drill the holes for the ribbon....CRAZEEEEE! Then after all that we still had to print the response cards. Fonally at 10:00 like 9 hoursa later the invites were printed....but not put together or in the envelopes. The invites were supposed to be mailed Monday....So on Tuesday my brother and his girlfriend came over and she helped me out the invites together by lacing the ribbon through the holes tying it in a bow and then stuffing the invites and the response cards ion the envelope. THEN we still had to address, return address and stamp the envelopes. 4 hours later the wedding invites were ready for the mail. Today at 11:17am the invites were placed in the mail bin and were sent out. No backing out now....
i will post pictures of the invites later tonight. Did you check out the pictures of the shower and more? If not go here.....
(I did not read back through if there are any mispelled words, I am sorry, spell check doesn't work on my work computer for some reason...go figure)

I'll be back

wedding............stressing.....me...........out!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I must get the wedding invitations stuffed and ready to be mailed. I will be back tomorrow with shower pictures and stories.......




"edit to add" 4 hours later I am done....I am so tired I can't even think right now....More to come tomorrow. For now Pictures...LOTS and LOTS of pictures. go check it out.

uh-oh

Does my blog look weird to you? I was trying to be fancy and add something in my side bar, now my page has an all white background....do you see it or is it just me? Please let it be just me....

weekend round up

• Nanny C started today. Things seem to have went really well. Alanna didn't get a nap today, but I think she is teething the dreaded molars and she was also excited because of Nanny C. Alanna didn't really seem that crabby but she did go to bed a little early tonight. Poor baby her gums are so swollen with bulges in her mouth.

• I am still really happy with our decison to have Nanny C in our home then taking the girls out to someone else.

• I bought my veil over the weekend, but I have a question. Is Chris allowed to see my veil? I never thought about it. Its not my dress and it is no indication of what my dress looks like. I showed it to him....I put it on and started the wedding march in the kitchen. I didn't show him my tiara or anything else. Just the veil. Mainly because its hanging in the closet so it doesn't wrinkle. Oh well if I am not supposed to.

• My mom got her dress today. She is so beautiful. It looks like this. In peridot green. She looks so nice I can't wait to see her all put together on the big day.

• I picked out the material for Alanna's dress for the wedding. My mom is gonna make it for her. It cost about half what it would have from Davids Bridal. Then we found the same dress at another store for a few $$$ less than we bought the material for. Its okay though because the dress my mom makes will be fit to her and we won;t have to worry about alterations or anything like that.

• I can't believe the wedding is in 2 months and 1 day....Ya'll did you hear me? 2 months and 1 day. I'm so nervous! Counseling went okay on Saturday. Chris and I actually got into a fight on the way there and so we worked through that in the session. It was really a great thing, and I learned alot. I'm happy with it so far.

help

wedding countdown:66 days

The wedding planning is coming along. This weekend I am going in search of my veil. We have another counseling session on Saturday. We have to answer some true/false questions about Chris' ways and then compare our answerrs. I'm a litttle nervous about that one. There is however, something that we need a little help on and I figured why not ask some of the smartest people I know. I am calling on all you. Chris and I have chosen our wedding song-You Save Me, by Kenny Chesney. Now we need help choosing a song for me to dance with my dad and one for Chris to dance with his mom. Any suggestions. Please help. We have to send in out DJ information soon and I am no clue what to dance to. All the songs that i think of are lovey dovey and not right for us to dance to. I'm counting on you. Don't let me down!