I was a single mom with Hannah for 3 1/2 years before Chris and I got together. I had to learn to take both the mom and dad roles. I had to learn how to take control of mine and hers life and make all the decisions. The roles never changed much when Chris and I got together because I was never sure if things were gonna work out with us just dating.
Then I got pregnant with Alanna and and all of a sudden some of my parenting responsibilities were being shared with another person. It was a new concept and it was hard to adjust and still is at times.
When Chris asked me to marry him, I started on trying to let some control go because this man was going to be my husband now. Its a strange feeling releasing the control that you have had for 5 years and allowing someone else to share it with you. I don't know why I thought marriage wold be such an easy transition. Here's what I mean.
Chris and I meet in 2002 from friends, he was with another girl and so I never gave another thought of us being together. About a year later Chris and I met again and this time he was single and so was I. Over time Chris and I started to talk more between just us and didn't need our friends to be there. We started dating and a couple months later Chris moved in with Hannah and me. It was kinda fast, but we really cared for each other, and it felt right. I still had the control over the house because it was "my" house. Chris always said it never felt like his house because he just moved in. Chris and I have lived together since January 2004. We bought a new house together last August, and I thought marriage would be an easy thing to adjust to, but I'm soon finding out that it is not.
Its different. He is no longer mt boyfriend, he is my husband and I am his wife. With that title comes a whole new load of responsibility. I'm having a hard time adjusting to being married. Allowing him to make some decisions that will impact us as a family, and sometimes I am scared if I let him make a choice, it may be the wrong one and I will blame him, versus me making a bad choice and only having myself to blame. Did anyone else have this problem? Is there something wrong with our marriage? I love Chris, but I find it hard sometimes to agree with his decisions and wondering if I made a mistake in letting go of my control of the situation. Its only been 2 months since the wedding, are we going to make to 20 years? Longer?