The war at home

I've had a post swirling around in my head for a couple of days now. I've been having trouble organizing thoughts lately. I'm in a rut and feeling blue. I have trouble letting all of my feelings out online. I'm not at the point were I feel totally comfortable letting everyone into my personal life yet. Yes I say a lot, but theres plenty thats not said. I read other blogs and people make their life seem so great. Like nothing goes wrong and things are perfect. It makes my life feel wrong becasue things aren't perfect. I wonder if people hold back like I do. I don't tell you all when Chris and I fight, and yes we do fight. Not all the time but on occasion when we do, its big. We are in one now. We started to come out of it tonight. When Chris and I fight we hold things inside until one of us explodes and then everything comes out at once...we blame each other for things that make us unhappy. Lately Chris has had a bad attitude and today he finally let it out about the things that have been bothering him. Well when he has the bad attitude it makes me upset and then I let it all out about him....whats been making him upset???..me. We need to learn to sit and talk about things instead of blaming each other. We are going to be starting pre marital counseling soon. Its a requirement that our officiant is having us do. Hes actually my dads cousin...Hes a pastor. Chris and I don't attend church therefore we don't have a religion. My dads cousin said he would marry us if we attended one on one sessions with him before the wedding. At first I was avoiding them, but the more I think about it the more I think they may help. Chris and I are young and haven't had the expirence with many relationships and obviously we lack the key to making them work since we both found each other. Thinking back....Chris and I have come through a lot. I am the type of person that wants to argue, talk it out and then make up. Chris likes to say what he has to say and then walk away from the situation. This is very hard for me because I feel sometimes like he doesn't want to talk. But he sees it as calming down and thinking about whats going on. Are these things that normal couples go through? Am I over thinking this because the wedding is 4 months away? Or really does everyone out there have perfect relationships. I didn't think that I would be so vervous about the wedding. I come from a broken home. Both parents have been married 3 times. I want my marriage to work and be the only one. I am scared that sometime down the road Chris and I will not make it and get a divorce. I know I shouldn't think about this before the wedding, but these thoughts have been creeping up in my mind. Please help me...is this normal freak out mode, or is there something else that I need help with.