Catching you up, May1-May 23, 2010, part 1

I don't know where to begin.  The last month and a half has been a blur.  So many times I sat down to write and I just couldn't face the truth.  So many thoughts are in my head its hard to push them out on the keyboard.

I guess we can start at the beginning. 

So many things happened in May.
May 1-May 31, 2010
We started out with Tball for Alanna.  It didn't start well and its still going on...not well. She didn't like practice at first because she didn't know anyone.  Then she met a girl Brooklyn and things were going fine.  Alanna loves to bat.  She always hits it on the first try, and she is a FAST runner.  She named herself Alanna "the roadrunner" King in the start of the season.  However she HATES the field.  She gets so bored that she sits on the bench or plays in the rocks.  In reality I don't think baseball is for her and we probably won't do it again...We have a few more games to go and then we are DONE!

Next up in May was Hannah's spring concert.  She was so proud to be up on stage signing with her class.  She said that the songs they were signing was above her 4th grade level and that her teacher Mr V was so proud of them.  Her mommy was proud too...

Hanna's 10th birthday party for her friends came next.  She wanted a sleep over and then we decided to do an ice cream social for the fun activity.  We bought ice cream and then had every ice cream topping you could think of...cherries, whip cream, nuts, sprinkles, bananas, pineapple, chocolate, and even marshmellos...and so much more.  There were about 10 girls here and surprisingly there was no fighting and no crying, hehe. 

The friend party was the weekend before Hannah's actual birthday.  She had no idea about the birthday present I had in store for her.   You see, my mom got this great idea to come visit us in Michigan during Hannah's birthday, and since she would be here for her birthday why not surprise Hannah.  So the plan was Hannah thought my mom, stepdad, stepsister and my nephew Brody would be here in June.  Little did she know that at her birthday party with her friends my mom was in Michigan.  They visited my other step sister and my stepdads mom for the weekend and then when Hannah came home from school on Tuesday my mom called her.  Hannah went into her room "to get some privacy" and then my mom came in the house.  I went and knocked on Hannah's door and told her she had a friend at the door and when Hannah came out....she seen my mom.   She ran so fast and started hugging my mom...Hannah started crying, my mom cried and of course I cried...It was an awesome surprise for Hannah.

The family stayed for the rest of the weekend and then we had to say good bye...It was a great visit and I got to meet my gorgeous little nephew for the first time!!!  ( and if you remember my goals for 2010...meeting Brody is now crossed of the list.)

During the family visiting, Alanna had her last day of preschool.  The kids and teachers put on an ice cream social for the families and then passed out certificates.  Alanna enjoyed preschool so much this year, that all she has been talking about lately is kindergarten.  She tells me that she misses her friends all the time, and hopes to see them in school in the fall.

Well this gets us through May 23.  More events to occur, but they deserve their own post.  Stay tuned for Part 2 of May...May 23-May31, 2010

goals updated

I thought it would be a good idea to see my progress so far on my goals for 2010.  I've been working hard on achieving them, because I feel so strongly about them. 
Things I want to do in 2010

1. donate to a charity without worrying about where the money is going to come from- I just donated $10 to the American Heart Assoc and didn't bat an eye about it :), I also plan on donating more, but this is just a start
   
2. read at least 2 books a month
3. start recycling
4. paint my bedroom- when we get our taxes this WILL get done
5. plant a garden
6. go to Florida for Christmas- This is also probably going to happen with our taxes :)
7. put at least $50 a month in savings- not yet
8. get the grocery bill at $70 a week-not this either
9. potty train Ben before he turns - he likes to sit on it fully clothed...still working on it 
10. lose 50 pounds- working on this.  Started weight watchers a couple weeks ago.
11. make somebody feel special- I was told by a friend that I made her feel special, when I emailed her and let her know I was thinking about her for no reason.  I actually forgot about this goal until now.  Even though its crossed off, I'm still gonna try to make everyone feel special.
12. send a birthday card to everyone in my family on their birthday-I'm working on this.  A card wasn't sent but phone calls and myspace messages have been sent.
13. take the kids camping this summer
14. plan a bloggy meet up with my southern gals (Tana, Lori this means you, Lindsey you too)This is in the works, just trying to nail down a weekend
15. meet my nephew Brody- This will be happening this spring, YAY!
16. reconnect with my older sister and brother
17. volunteer my time Hannah and I helped feed the homeless and under income families.  We also plan on doing this again
18. get a family picture taken by a professional- this is also in the works.  Chris and I cannot decided what the family should wear for our pictures :)
19. try something I never thought I would I am planning the bloggy meet up AND bold blogging. 
20. adopt a family for next Christmas

I'm also still working on yelling.  Some days are better than others.  Its been rough with the kids being sick every single week..It wears on my patience with things, because I am so tired..But I know this and I am working harder. 

forgiveness

I messed up yesterday. The good thing about that is I recognized it. The bad thing about it, I didn't stop when I recognized it.

I have no excuses to give, just that I need to work harder. The kids really pushed me yesterday and I pushed right back. It started with Alanna taking all the cushions off the couch (no big deal) then she started to get really wild and jump all over and lay on the couch arm, and then she flipped over the arm. I told her to sit up because she was going to get hurt if she didn't sit on her butt. She did not listen. I said it 3 more times and told her if she did not listen she was going to stand in the corner. Then she fell head first into the floor and cried. I was so mad that she didn't listen that I yelled at her for getting hurt. What I should have done is comfort her and explain. But I didn't feel like explaining...She did not listen and therefore what I told her was going to happen did, and then I pulled the I told you card....TO MY 4 YEAR OLD. HELLO...Moms hug and kiss the boo boos not pull that stunt. I was ashamed and mad at myself and so I yelled some more.
Then I caught Alanna picking her nose and eating her...dare I say it...boogers. I know disgusting. We have told her and told her to not eat them, but she was not listening again. So I yelled and told her I was not going to give her a kiss goodnight because she had booger breath. She started to cry and I yelled some more.

Over all it was a good day, but a bad evening. I should have stopped what I was doing and thought about what was going on before I yelled so much.

At bedtime, I did kiss Alanna goodnight, but not before a good teeth brushing and a firm lecture about eating germs and dirt. I told her I was sorry I yelled when she hurt her head and that I will work harder today to not yell. She told me she understood that mommy's get in trouble too, just like her and I was forgiven.

I woke up this morning feeling better and continue to work on my temper and the yelling. A firm, yet loving voice is what I need.

I will make it

Ok picture this. Its 10:00 pm. You are so exhausted from the day. You did 3 loads of laundry, folded and put away all of it. Cleaned the house and that would entail you sweeping, mopping and vacuuming. You also dusted the living room. After cleaning you decided to take some left over soup to your neighbor and while carrying a 25 pound boy and a heavy soup pan, you fall on the ice, saving your baby and the soup, but hurting your knee ever so badly. You come home from the neighbors and put the baby down for a nap when your middle child comes home from preschool. She gets a snack and you send her to bed as well. While the kids nap you play a little online and before you know it you missed the window to nap and its 3:00. The little kids are up from a nap and Hannah comes home around 4. You start dinner, eat dinner and clean up from dinner. Then your husband comes home and you make him a plate, and clean up that plate. You do the dishes that won't fit in the dishwasher and then you sit down..Ok now its 10:00 pm. Your 4 year old is out of bed AGAIN! You "yell" her name ALANNA GET IN BED NOOOWWWW!!!!!!!

Yup, you just broke your 4 day streak of no yelling at the children. But you quickly realize what you just did, so get off the couch and go into her room. You calmly yet very firmly advise her that its in her best interest if she does not get out of bed again, her bedtime is 8:30 and tomorrow night she will be in bed at 8. You also tell her that she is not allowed out of bed again because she will be one very tired little girl for school the next day. You leave her room and you vow to get back on track with the no yelling, once in 4 days with your child is like a miracle.

If I have learned one hing from this its that its ok to to make a mistake. I am so proud of myself. I usually yell A LOT. I am a yeller. I am learning to control my self and that its not always the kids that are being bad. If I am tired or have a bad day I tend to take it out on the people near me and I am controlling that. I will not let this affect me. I will continue to do better for myself and my family.

My day with Hannah

~This is part of my new "boldness" I really had a good time and it was really that great!~

Yesterday I took Hannah shopping with her Christmas money. She really learned her lesson about money. Everything she looked at she checked the price and was so amazed at how much things cost. I sure hope she remembers that when I take her school shopping and she picks out clothes and then decides she doesn't like them after one time wearing.

I have to admit though, we had the best time. We giggled and hugged and I even got her to hold my hand for a brief minute or two. We ate soft pretzels and shared a blue icee and laughed some more.

She decided on a really cute top with a small tutu on the end with some black leggings. She also bought some gum, candy and a small pink scarf. She has about $15 left and would like a pair of tennis shoes she found..I told her she would have to wait until next week, and I would help her with the rest because they were $20.00. She was happy with that. I am amazed at how mature she is getting to be. She understands about money and how we have to work for things now. She understands about saving and spending and hopefully she won't take anything for granted.

I just have to say again what a great day I had with her...I even caught people watching us as we giggled our way through...I remember watching people when I was younger and hoping one day to have a great relationship with my daughter, and yesterday I realized that Hannah and I really do have a good thing going. Sometimes I forget this with the stress of the 2 little kids and making dinner and cleaning the house, but it just takes a few minutes to remember what a good girl she really is..she helps with the kids, she cleans up, she is even starting to help with the cooking. I sure did get lucky when she was born!



*Day 4 of "no yelling" is going pretty well. Hannah seems to think when I punish her and Alanna I am ruining my no yelling streak, but I have to remind her I am allowed to punish...I just have to try to cut back on the yelling, and so far so good..NO YELLING. I am so proud of myself. It used to be that the kids would only respond if I did yell, but last night while Alanna was in the bathtub, she told me that she was being a good girl because mommy wasn't yelling. It brought tears to my eyes for my 4 year old to say this...I was doing the no yelling for me, but now I know I am doing it for the kids and myself..

2010 will be a good year

Things I want to do in 2010

1. donate to a charity without worrying about where the money is going to come from
2. read at least 2 books a month
3. start recycling
4. paint my bedroom- the colors are picked out
5. plant a garden- have all the stuff, just ran out of time to do it..hopefully next year
6. go to Florida for Christmas- money is in savings
7. put at least $50 a month in savings
8. get the grocery bill at $70 a week
9. potty train Ben before he turns 2
10. lose 50 pounds
11. make somebody feel special
12. send a birthday card to everyone in my family on their birthday-didn't mail one, but have messaged or called everyone
13. take the kids camping this summer
14. plan a bloggy meet up with my southern gals (Tana, Lori this means you, Lindsey you too)
15. meet my nephew Brody
16. reconnect with my older sister and brother
17. volunteer my time
18. get a family picture taken by a professional-scheduled for October
19. try something I never thought I would
20. adopt a family for next Christmas

I may add or delete items as I go. Things that I think of and things that may just be out of my reach. But I am going to try with all my heart to do all these things in 2010. I also have this same list written in my planner, so I will look at it every day and make this happen!
If you would like to do a similar list, blog about it and come back and leave a comment and a link so we can help others be a better person in 2010. Maybe take some ideas from here or you have your own, whatever it may be...lets just do it!